A few weeks ago, I had a series of lunch meetings with some obgyns to share with them all about the work I’m doing with Womb to World Wellness. They loved it! Just like most people, they love getting more support themselves, and when they are able to provide their patients with what they need everyone feels supported.
At each of the offices I visited, an important topic kept coming up – information overload that leads to unnecessary fear and anxiety. The doctors I met with know that there is a lot of information out there, some of it good and some of it bad, or at least misleading. They have seen unnecessary fears overwhelm their patients and they know there’s a better way. One doctor even told me that they tell their patients not to Google things! That is such a wonderful and important piece of advice, especially when you are thinking about getting pregnant or are already pregnant, and here are 3 reasons why:
We like to tell the bad stories
People are drawn to hearing negative stories, and the truth is, a lot of people like telling them too. According to Dr. Carly Goldberg, this is often because, “as human beings, it is in our nature to want to be heard, recognized, and validated. One way in which this happens is to allow others to bear witness to our painful and more difficult stories that are filled with suffering.”
When we have people to share our stories with, we build a sense of community. By finding supportive and loving people to surround yourself with, you can build yourself a community filled with positive and inspiring energy. When that is the energy you seek, that is the energy that will fill your life and inform your experiences. This is a key step towards an empowered conception and pregnancy.
Contradictory information will confuse you
For every article you find that says A, you’ll find one that says B. Without the context of your unique situation or the nuance behind different viewpoints, none of it really means very much. That’s not to say that it won’t drive you crazy though!
This can be frustrating with any situation, but when you are thinking about preparing yourself to grow a baby (or if you’re already growing a baby), it takes it to an entirely different level. You’ll find yourself asking, “What am I supposed to be doing??” If you don’t have good support in place, it will be much more difficult for you to find the answers that are right for you (because Google can’t ask you clarifying questions and get to the root of whatever is coming up for you).
Just because you read it doesn’t mean it will happen to you
There is a lot of information out there, and it covers everything that can happen – from the positive to the negative. Especially in the era of blogs where so many women are writing about their stories, it is easy to stumble upon information that can quite honestly freak you out!
Stories are important to share, and they are important to read – sometimes. They can offer great support when you are experiencing something because they can make you feel less alone. When they serve the purpose of increasing your list of things to worry about, it’s time to reach out and find someone who can support you with what’s going on in your body and mind. Your experience will be different from your sister’s, your friend’s, the woman on the internet’s, and even from your previous experiences. It’s important for you to start listening to your stories so you can learn and grow from them.
So what’s the takeaway I want you to have today? Listen to your stories, focus on the positive, and surround yourself with trusting and supportive people so no matter what comes up on your journey, you’ll feel part of the perfect community for you.
I’d love to know what you think of today’s blog. Join the conversation by leaving a comment below!
Peace, Love, and Wellness,
P.S. Speaking of supportive community, we’ll be gathering on the phone in just a few weeks to explore the importance of preparing yourself before you even start trying to conceive. Stay tuned, more details coming soon!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
I often have clients come into my office that have already diagnosed themselves with something. When I ask some clarifying questions it’s clear that they’ve consulted with Dr. Google. More times than not, what they’ve found was incorrect or misleading information.
Thanks for sharing, Xandra.
When I was very early in my pregnancy, my husband basically demanded that I stop reading the forums on Baby Center. The other women who were due right around the same time as me were having miscarriages and other complications and it totally made me worry.
I think part of why it was so hard for me was that very early in pregnancy we’re told to keep it a secret. It’s this HUGE thing going on in your life, but yet you’re keeping it a secret from your work, most of your friends, maybe even your parents until you hit 12 weeks or see/hear the heartbeat, or get back the test results etc… It’s the weird month from 8 weeks – 12 weeks where you just want to tell the world and connect with other people who are going through the same thing. Since you can’t talk to people in real life, you end up going to the Internet where you can be anonymous.
Now that doesn’t account for the Googling throughout the pregnancy. I’m sure I did some of that too.
Beth,
Thank you for sharing. You raise such an important point that I hear from women all the time – there is a serious need for women to have a safe place for support in those early weeks when they want to share their news but they want to stay quiet too. That’s part of why I believe so strongly in the importance of building that support prior to conception, so you have at least one person you can turn to to help guide you through those early weeks.
I worried myself silly during my pregnancy, but about halfway through I realized: “worrying will not help. it can’t stop anything. it can only pull tomorrow’s potential clouds over today’s sunshine.” So I chose not to worry. And of course I ended up having one of the terrible, horrible ‘this won’t happen to you’ birth stories– but truly, had I worried about it ahead of time, I STILL couldn’t have stopped it. It was a fluke. Google wouldn’t have helped. So with my second pregnancy I learned my lesson: no googling, no worrying, just enjoy the ride and be prepared for the ‘what-ifs’ to the point of comfort, and not anxiety. Now I have both of my babies running around upstairs, horror story or not! 😉
This is an interesting approach. The newsy woman and lawyer in me cannot stay away from seeking more information on topics, but I understand the approach you are advising.