This year I am embracing the word expansion and I am realizing that in order to fully do so, I have to also embrace the opposite – contraction.
After recently completing an expansive project – my class plan for my yoga teacher training – I had an interesting experience. There was more I wanted to do – writing, planning, cleaning, meditation. Before I knew it, I was 3 or 4 episodes into a Gilmore Girls binge.
I felt as if I was hiding from myself.
I reached out to some friends for support.
“I tried to convince myself that it was a well-deserved break. I can feel it in my bones though that I don’t want to listen to myself, to figure things out, and I’m not sure why. I wonder what I’m hiding from.”
And from one of them came permission,
“Trust the hiding, sweet one. Sometimes it really is about integrating, so that there’s space to be with whatever is coming next.”
And then my mind turned to ocean waves – the constant in and out. And to our breath – the constant expansion and contraction. You can’t have one without the other. So I made myself a cup of tea, settled in with Lorelei and Rory, and allowed myself to hide, to integrate, to meet myself where I was and to just be. Fully trusting that the expansion will come again.