Tag Archives: joy

Reinventing Your Relationship with Women

“She craves men but women are her most abiding lovers. Her friends are her soul mates, all the love without the consumption of sex and romance, a different kind of intimacy. Women make love by admiring each other, studying and envying each other and mixing it all up in a pot of devotion.”― G.G. Renee Hill, The Beautiful Disruption

Hannah Marcotti

I remember wanting to be part of the popular group when I was younger. That shifted one day when I realized that when one of them left the room she became the topic of conversation. I recognized then that they might have plans every weekend but they didn’t have anyone to trust when they really needed a friend. What I realize now is that they also didn’t have anyone who could see them and accept them for who they were.

Over the years, friendships have come and gone (and some have come back around), and I have learned so much about myself, friendship, and what it means to be in relationship with other women. Here are a few things I’ve learned:

Friendships (like ogres and onions for all your Shrek fans) have layers.
Holding expectations of others does not usually work out well.
We grow as individuals, and sometimes that means we grow closer to others, sometimes further apart.
There is ebb and flow in relationships, as with anything else.

When we find our women, the ones with whom we can finally let down our guard and expose our vulnerability to without fear of judgment, we have the chance to give and receive such a beautiful gift. 

We have the chance to hear and be heard.
We have the chance to see and be seen.
We have the chance to explore our vulnerability instead of hide from it.
We have the chance to be open to who we were, who we are, and who we are becoming.

As we prepare ourselves for any new becoming, be it preparation for conception and pregnancy, motherhood, or as we step into the new version of ourselves that we are currently calling forth, this type of support can create such a huge different in how we allow ourselves to be seen.

In being seen by others without the cloud of judgement, we start to drop our own self judgment too.

I’ll be honest with you, for a long time I thought this type of intimate friendship was a dream that was not based in reality. I thought that women didn’t have the capacity to hold in this gentleness in the realm of friendship because I had not seen in, felt it, experienced it.

Just because you have not experienced something does not mean it does not exist. 

I want to tell you that it’s here and you can find it. As I’ve learned many times before, the finding often comes when you stop searching, striving. Sink in, sink deeply in where you find love and joy, and there will be your circle of women, finding their way to you, holding you up and being held by you in turn. It is pure love, pure magic.

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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Quieting the Fight Inside of You

quiet the fightWe fight ourselves so hard. We make things more complicated and more difficult than they have to be. We do this with the little things (what to eat, doing dishes and laundry) and with the big things. But it’s the fighting with all of the little things that really gets us stuck because it’s happening all the time. It’s the pattern so many of us run constantly, like music in the background that is always playing. So how do you stop it, or at least practice quieting that fight?

First, you recognize that it’s happening. This alone can create huge shifts, because this type of message from your inner critic is often so ingrained in how you function that you don’t even notice it anymore. Cues that it’s happening include negative self talk like:

“I can’t do anything right” 
“I messed up again” 
“I don’t deserve…” 
“I don’t have enough time” 
“I have other people whose needs have to come before my own”

Sometimes the cues come in your behaviors more than the self talk:


These fights can go on for so long and when they do, they start to influence who we are at sour core. Quieting the fight allows you to grow into your authentic self.

When you recognize that you are fighting yourself, you open the door to learning more about what you really want.

In this place of possibility you can ask yourself a simple question, “What do I want right now?”

The question is certainly easier to ask than answer much of the time, but the next step is asking the question and listening for an honest response.

I’ll share an example of a situation that comes up in my life because it serves as a good reminder that this is all practice and that there is not some simple quick-fix that is going to work 100% of the time.

It gets to be dinner time but I’m rushing around trying to finish things from my day. I begin to notice my hunger so I go into the kitchen to see what I have to eat. I open the fridge, and then close it deciding there’s nothing there that I want. I open the cupboard door. Same thing. I check the counter to see what’s out and none of that really appeals to me either. I’ll do this many times, sometimes taking a break to check my email as if somehow, magically, new food will appear in my kitchen and it will be exactly what I want. Each time that I go back, my hunger (and my frustration) is rising.

Many days, I’ll stop myself at some point and say to myself, “Wait. What do I really want right now?”

Sometimes the answer will be “I don’t know” and the loop of frustration will continue. Most of the time though, when I can step away from what I have and don’t have, what feels easy or difficult, I can tune into my body and discover what it is I want, whether it’s protein, salad, a refreshing smoothie or one of my easy go-to meals.

The recognizing and asking are keys to quieting the fight, but the foundation of it all is in creating ritual. 

When you create ritual within your day to day life, all of the little places start to be infused with ease instead of overwhelm. 

You create ritual in your closet by filling it only with clothing that you love. Then getting dressed each morning becomes an act of self-love, everyday.

You create ritual in your eating habits by filling your kitchen with nourishing choices, so no matter what you choose to eat, it fills you on many levels.

You create ritual around the seemingly mundane tasks and suddenly the dishes, the laundry, the cleaning up the clutter become ways to care for your environment, and by extension, yourself and your family.

Ritual does not have to mean whatever you have been taught by others that it means. Ritual is yours to create and define.

In the month of October, we will be gathering as a community to explore in the Sacred Ritual Everyday. If you join us for this journey, by the end of October, you will have taken great strides in quieting the fight within you.

Learn more and join us today.

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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Simplicity is Practice

Simplicity Vision

This week in my love note to my email list I’m talking about simplicity. Here with you, I am going to share what I do on a (mostly) daily basis to invite simplicity into my life, and to try to encourage it to stay.

When you’re first getting started with practicing simplicity, it can feel hard. If you’re anything like me, you can pause now, look back over your life, and realize how unnecessarily complicated you’ve made most things.

Simplicity allows you the space to focus on your desires without getting tangled up in overwhelm, fear, and anxiety. Simplicity is a breath of fresh air. It opens your eyes to what’s most important because your vision becomes less clouded.

When you can infuse your journey towards motherhood with simplicity you create more space for empowerment, ease, and enjoyment.

As with most things, simplicity is a practice, and to keep it going strong, to weave it into the fiber of who you are, it can help to have a few guiding practices. Here are some of mine.

Start small :: Make the bed. Morning pages. Lemon water.

Create space :: No technology for the first and last 2 hours of the day. Clear clutter.

Be grateful ::  Remember the good. Release the not so good.

Nourish :: Whole, fresh foods. Uncomplicated and delicious.

Move your body :: Walk. Sun salutations. Dance party.

As you ease into your day, begin with the things that make you feel amazing. Be fully present in the moment. Enjoy the warm water rushing over your body. Hold that hot mug between your hands. Feel the cool breeze on your face.

Simplicity lives in the moments. That means that at any point, you can begin again. You can choose simplicity right now and know that you are giving yourself the gift of a simplicity practice.

How can you choose simplicity today? Share with us in the comments below.

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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When Adventure Leads You to Unexpected Journeys

Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said: “one can’t believe impossible things.”
“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” – Lewis Carroll

your next adventure

The day starts quite normally::

Waking up, rubbing slumber from my eyes, rolling over, out of bed and into morning pages

Lines follows lines of thoughts and dreams and to-dos and ideas

Breakfast is made (smoothie for me, waffle with just jelly for her)

As she’s off on an as-yet-unknown adventure, I sit down to begin mine

And later there’s the phone call::

“Mama, I fed a HIPPO!!!”

And she did, she fed a hippo apples, thrown right into the mouth big enough to fit her

And she turned to her Za (short for Zabazabadoo, nickname for Zayda, Yiddish for grandfather)

She said to him, “I want to work here when I grow up.”

So I learned::

Adventures are rarely expected as we are rubbing the slumber from our eyes

Each moment opens the path to a new journey waiting for us

We know so much when we are young

We forget so much as we grow

I want to share with you::

Write your morning pages

Take yourself on adventures big and small

Let your heart guide your journey

Be open to the impossible feeling possible
Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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P.S. Looking for a new adventure? Join us for the Creating Fertile Ground Circle

Gathering in Community So We Can be Mirrors for One Another

When I step onto my mat, I take myself on a journey inward. Yoga is not just a way to move my body; it is also my spiritual practice. I reconnect to myself deeply, and most of the time, if you watched me practice, you would see that my eyes are closed. This helps me to keep the focus on what’s going on for me internally – What am I feeling? Where do I want to create more space? What connections can I make between my body and my mind?

Recently, I have been practicing in two spaces that have mirrors, and this was a first for me. In the beginning, it threw me off balance – literally. I’d be searching for a drishti (a focal point), the small hole in the window blinds at my old studio now gone, and I’d see moving parts of the other people in the class, and sometimes, if I was close enough, I’d see me. As I’ve gotten used to it, my own eye is my best drishti for poses like eagle, wrapped up in myself, focusing on the one eye that is visible, a reminder to myself that I will always be there.

I’ve been thinking about mirrors a lot lately, not just because they are becoming part of my practice. I’ve been thinking about how we are not only mirrors for ourselves, but about how we are mirrors for others.

being a mirror

I’ve spent days trying to find the words to explain this, because in my heart I feel it so deeply.

It is so easy for each one of us to feel incredibly alone in our life – in our day-to-day struggles and triumphs, both big and small. It is so easy to tell ourselves that no one else could possibly understand, that no one else has experienced something quite like this, that no one else is like us, and therefore that something must be wrong with us.

We are so good at weaving these stories for ourselves, at closing our eyes and bringing our practice inward, that sometimes it’s not until we feel so off balance that we’re about to topple over that we open our eyes. When we do, what do we see?

When we have been lucky enough to find our community, our tribe, we open our eyes and see that we are surrounded by love and support, and that we are absolutely not alone. We reach out, we find the courage to speak our fears, our desires, our deepest hurts, and we find that we are not alone.

Being a mirror for another can be a powerful act of community and spiritual communion. We can do this in each and every action and reaction that we have, with ourselves and with others. Holding space for one another so that we all come to learn that we are not alone is what gives us the strength to take the next step, and the next, and the next, on this journey that at times feels painful and overwhelming but is always, no matter what, a blessing.

Some questions to think about as your journey through your day…

How am I a mirror for myself?
How am I a mirror for others?
What makes me feel most alone?
Where can I go to find my community, my tribe?

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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Do You Have a Joy List?

I am deeply grateful for my mentor Hannah Marcotti and how she has awoken the spirit of Joy within me over the last couple of years. Joy is a funny feeling – it is one that we can take a deep journey to, learning more about as we shift through the ebb and flow of life. It is there when we are celebrating, and it is there to hold us when we are experiencing heartache. It supports us with a gentle whisper, reminding us of our compass.

Being able to tap into your Joy on a regular basis helps you to fuel your dreams and desires and to remain true to yourself in good times and bad. This can sometimes be a struggle, and this is where a Joy List comes into play.

You may have realized that most things flow with more ease when you have a plan (even if you’re not a planning type). Writing papers, planning a wedding, healthy eating, and preparing for a baby are some of the times when I’ve been most grateful to have a plan.

Planning for the difficult times often feels like something that we would rather avoid, but when we have a touchstone in place that we can turn to, we can find support in any situation. One touchstone is a Joy List.

A Joy List can be as simple or elaborate as you want it to be. It is your plan that you go to when you most strongly feel the need for an infusion of Joy in your life. It can include solitary and social ideas so you can include whomever you want.

Here’s what my Joy List looks like right now:

Dance Yoga Fusion Party to some uplifting tunes
Cutting words, images, phrases out of magazines
Creating vision boards
Hot bath with bath salts
Intimacy and Connection
Soulful conversation
Reading passages from favorite books
Tickle fights
Solitary train rides
Sipping tea

vision board

Your Joy List can evolve with you, can be filled with ideas that are easy to implement in your day-to-day and with ones that take more planning and time. The point is that you create the space to welcome Joy into your life.

Having this in your back pocket can make the empowering and happy times even brighter and can bring a sense of ease to the difficult times. A Joy List can be wonderful as you cultivate and grow your dreams – whether they are dreams of babies, of new adventures, or of new versions of yourself. They can help to center and guide you through the twists and turns that are sure to arise on your journey, and they can be the warm and cozy comfort that is sometimes exactly what you need.

What’s on your Joy List? Please share in the comments below!

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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Creating a Vision for Your Future

As you may know, creating vision boards is a big part of my self-care and self-growth practice, and it plays a big role in my work with clients as well. Today, I want to share a video with you that shows you how my vision boards sometimes take shape. Sometimes it’s a small page in a notebook, sometimes it’s 6 12×12 pieces of paper turned into one big board (that’s what you’ll see in the video below!). Whether it’s in a notebook or taking up lots of space on my wall, vision boards have been an amazing tool to help me dive deeper into my dreams and desires.

So what do you need to do to get started creating your own vision board?

  • a pile of magazines (it doesn’t matter what they are, sometimes it can even be better when they are unfamiliar ones)
  • scissors
  • a glue stick
  • paper or a notebook
  • some good tunes

Remember, there’s no right or wrong here. Sometimes you’ll totally understand why you’re drawn to certain words and images, and sometimes there will be mystery that might not be uncovered for days or even months. This is about exploring what you’d like to create in your life.

This week’s challenge is to create a vision board. I’d love to see what you come up with, so I encourage you to email me a picture when you’re done!

Peace, Love, and Wellness,
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52 Reasons to Be Grateful for 2013

gratitude for 2013

As I say thank you to 2013 for building the foundation that I stand on as I journey into 2014, I thought what better way than with one of my favorite things, a gratitude list. In no particular order:

I am grateful for hugging Hannah

I am grateful for gathering at The Loft with some of my soul sisters

I am grateful for investing in an amazing business coach

I am grateful for turning 30 without a panic attack (birthdays usually cause me anxiety)

I am grateful for growing my business passionately and authentically

I am grateful for the perfect weather at Folk Fest

I am grateful for taking big steps towards healing my gut

I am grateful for successfully taking part in a 21 day meditation challenge

I am grateful for caring for myself through yoga

I am grateful for discovering Amy’s flower essence blends and incorporating them into my daily routine

I am grateful for Opening to Abundance

I am grateful for family cuddles and tickle fights

I am grateful for the chance to explore a new city on my own

I am grateful for long solitary train rides

I am grateful for amazing opportunities to be interviewed throughout the year (here’s a favorite)

I am grateful for spending time with my grandmother

I am grateful for the memories I have of loved ones who died this year, heart-wrenching as it was to lose them

I am grateful for bringing healthy lunch to doctor’s offices and teaching them about the work I am doing (that was fun!)

I am grateful for Quiet Power

I am grateful for new moon visioning

I am grateful for the Joy Fairy Exchange

I am grateful for Anis Mojgani’s Shake the Dust

I am grateful for conversations with Katie Singer

I am grateful for my prosperity hens

I am grateful for Growing with Gratitude

I am grateful for Shopping locally

I am grateful for beach vacation

I am grateful for drastically reducing how much television I watch

I am grateful for morning pages

I am grateful for supporting amazing women as they transform and awaken their mama spirits

I am grateful for speaking to a group of 30 women (that was another fun one!)

I am grateful for finding a preschool that is a great fit for our daughter

I am grateful for antiquing with my mom

I am grateful for knowing what sleep schedule feels best for me

I am grateful for clearing clutter

I am grateful for shifting energy by moving furniture

I am grateful for S-T-R-E-T-C-H-I-N-G myself

I am grateful for having my sacred money archetypes read by Beth Martens

I am grateful for releasing self judgment

I am grateful for my redesigned website

I am grateful for the opportunity to teach our daughter about life and death (a tough one, but I’m grateful for it)

I am grateful for my fast growing hair!

I am grateful for snow!

I am grateful for conversations with my uncle

I am grateful for seeing changes in plans as doors opening instead of closing

I am grateful for my local radio debut!

I am grateful for keeping my plants alive (that was harder than it sounds)

I am grateful for planning BIG things for 2014 (planning ahead is not always easy for me!)

I am grateful for Ruth knowing the perfect word for my arm and holding space for me

I am grateful for honest communication

I am grateful for taking time to unplug from electronics

I am grateful for my Snap Out of It List (get’s me out of all my funks)

I am grateful for you! (that was a bonus if you’re counting, but you are what make this all possible, and I am grateful to the depths of my heart for your support)

What are you grateful for? Please share with us in the comments below.

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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Completing the Year with Joy

flow, simplicity, soft spaceTonight, we head down to my father-in-law’s to celebrate Christmas Eve and morning. Then we’ll zip back up to do Christmas dinner with my mother-in-law and the next day we’ll be on our way to the mountains for a few days of rest, ease, and gathering with my mom’s family.

In our family, Hanukkah and Christmas both get celebrated but Christmas can often feel more stressful because of all of the travel in a short amount of time. I’m easing into this year, feeling incredibly grateful for the time spent connecting with family, and focusing on simplicity and love.

I want to share with you a few things I’ve done to keep the last weeks of the year joy-filled instead of stress-filled, in the hopes that you can find the same for yourself and your family. Here’s the best part – these tips are perfect to return to all year long.

Release anything that doesn’t feel like flow – I have let a lot go in the last few weeks and spent many work days feeling incredibly productive but not rushed. When you try to do things that don’t feel right, they don’t typically turn out so well. If it feels like it’s blocking energy, let it go.

Keep gift giving simple – For years I’ve wanted to make handmade gifts, but honestly, I’m just not there yet. I do feel strongly about supporting local business, and I got my holiday shopping done for all of the women on my list in one night, in one place, and guess what? I got them all the same thing! Sometimes when it feels right, there’s no need to complicate it. (tweet this)

Give yourself lots and lots of soft space – Soft space is that time where you don’t have to do anything, where you can fill up with whatever makes you feel good. This helps you tap into the flow (see above for why that’s so important).

What has soft space looked like for me? Rearranging furniture, creating lots of vision pages (more on that next month), reading, getting back in the practice of morning pages and my gratitude journal, eating meals while doing nothing else and taking off the last two weeks of the year.

What feels like soft space to you? Leave a comment and let me know!

I hope that whatever this week looks like, you can release some stress and find some joy and flow.

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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How I’m Setting the Foundation for 2014 with My Guiding Word

Digging Into 2014 Banner: 200x 200

I recently had the opportunity to preview Digging Into 2014: Discovering Your Guiding Word, the most recent creation of my friend Tara Wagner. I sat myself on my balcony with a cup of tea, a pen, and the printed out pages of this guide and I dug in.

Let me say this – I have tried to come up with guiding words in the past (I think my word for 2013 was Simplicity but it speaks volumes that I don’t even remember). I was determined to make this coming year different, and as I was working through Digging into 2014, I found my word. More accurately, it found me.

I soaked in the process, uncovered what I learned from 2013, and as I wrote through the exercises, my word found me. Written here, then there, then bigger, then with building excitement and I knew it had found me….THRIVE

It felt so right, and when I looked up the dictionary definition, I knew it fit me perfectly.

thrive: to prosper or flourish; to be successful esp. as the result of economic management; to grow vigorously or luxuriantly; improve physically

I continued on with Digging into 2014, learning more as I was aware of the prompts that got me feeling stuck (that’s always a tell-tale sign of where more work, more support, more energy is needed).

I am so grateful to Tara for putting this together and for giving me a new way to approach discovering my guiding word for the coming year.

I encourage you to explore this work yourself, and once you do, please come back and share your guiding word in the comments!

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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