Tag Archives: self care

Why Self Care Matters for Conception, Pregnancy and Motherhood

self care creating fertile groundI’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it, because we all need the reminder quite regularly – it all starts with you.

You are the foundation for your family.

So many of us give give give yet we struggle with the idea of being open to receiving.

The energy of creating life calls for a receptive energy. It is a space of surrender, of trust, of pure love. If you have given all you have to give and have nothing left, there is no energy left for creation.

By not taking care of yourself, by refusing to treat yourself as sacred ground in which to plant the seed of life, you send a message that you are not deserving of this care, and that you are not open to receiving more.

The greatest disservice we can do to our family, current and future, is to consider self care to be selfish. It is the opposite. If we do not carve out the time to take care of ourselves, we become overwhelmed, overstressed, resentful, and often we make ourselves physically sick because it is the only way our body can get the message across that we need to slow down.

In The Gift of the Sea, Anne Morrow Lindbergh writes, “For the most part, we, who could choose simplicity, choose complication.”

Let’s choose simplicity with self-care.

  • Self-care is about carving out space just for you.
  • Self-care can be as simple as slow, deep breathing.
  • Self-care can take moments or hours; it is timeless.
  • Self-care has no right or wrong.
  • Self-care is an act of self-empowerment.

I encourage you to think about who you want to be as you prepare to step into the role of mama.

Do you want to be the woman who constantly feels like you’re falling apart, like you have to add one more thing to your list constantly but that you’re always at the bottom of it, and you’re growing resentful?

Or do you want to be the woman who has the energy to be fully present and joy-filled with your family, knowing can find gratitude within the small moments, and who can model the importance of caring for yourself for your children?

The choice is yours.

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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Let It Go (and watch the magic happen!)

“I recently realized something,” I said to my mom. “I used to run really fast. I always won on field day in elementary school. I was fast. And the teachers never encouraged me to pursue that, never helped me see that as a strength. I feel like they took something from me by not helping me to cultivate that part of me.”

She agreed, and we had a brief discussion about how we can’t really go back and change things, but we can learn from them.

The truth is, I grew up hating gym class. I don’t like to use the word hate now, but I definitely hated gym class. I really didn’t enjoy any form of movement, and I was never really taught that it was important. It’s not that I didn’t see it from my parents – my dad played basketball and cricket, skied in the winter and worked out regularly. My mom was an avid runner. So why did I hate gym class?

Clearly from my memory, there was a time when I didn’t hate it. I enjoyed being out on that field, running as fast as I could.  I can remember playing soccer and being good. So I found myself wondering where the origin of this shift came from. I imagine part of the reason was that springtime often left me behind in gym class, relegated to running errands for the gym department who didn’t know what to do with the girl whose allergies were so bad that she couldn’t go outside without getting a bloody nose and having her eyes practically sealed shut. I wasn’t taught then about the importance of movement, and about the power that I had within me. I was taught (yes, by my teachers) that I was different and undeserving of support if I couldn’t be outside with the rest of the class.

This message stuck with me for a long time. Eventually, after years of feeling like it was completely natural that I was sedentary and that I didn’t really need to do anything differently, I found yoga. My view on movement changed a bit, because I found a space on my mat that was not just about exercise, it was about spirituality. My eyes also began to open to the importance of regular movement beyond yoga, especially as I was preparing my body for pregnancy, but I just couldn’t make it happen.

I think I was still holding onto this belief that I wasn’t an athletic person and that there was no point in trying. That all changed the other day when I stretched myself way out of my comfort zone. Remember how I have talked about how that’s the place where the magic happens? Well, in 45 minutes, I deconstructed this limiting belief and shut the old patterns down. Yes, in 45 short and sweaty minutes, everything changed.

photo by Justin N Thompson

photo by Justin N Thompson

I surprised myself quite a bit when I walked into Focus Fitness at 9:30 on a Sunday morning and signed in for a class unlike any I’d taken before – a class that combines spinning and yoga. I think the idea of the yoga part settled some of my nerves, but I wondered what in the world I was doing there, mostly-sedentary-little-me, getting ready to walk into a room full of strangers and hop on a stationary bike for 45 minutes.

I was lovingly welcomed into the group with full support. Someone even lent me a pair of sneakers (because I didn’t even think to bring those, see, my head really was on the yoga part!).

Here are some of the thoughts that ran through my head:

What the hell am I doing here?

There’s no way I’ll make it through this class!

Am I doing this right?

Oh my god this is HARD!

Okay, I’m pushing myself, I can DO this!

Wait, did I really just do 15 miles in 45 minutes?

I don’t know if I liked this.

I have to come back and do this again.

I AM capable of this!

I gave myself a gift the other day that went well beyond an intense cardio workout. I taught myself that for all of these years I’d been living a lie, and I don’t need to live that lie anymore. I do like how it feels when I move my body like this, and I am more than capable of it, I can rock it!

I limited myself by continuing to tell the story that I didn’t need a lot of movement in my life and that I wasn’t good at it and wouldn’t enjoy it anyway.

I kept living out that same pattern again and again – the one that told me I wasn’t like everyone else, that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t capable of this.

I’ve learned the importance of stretching myself beyond my comfort zone a lot in the last few years, and especially in the last few months as I’ve put together the Creating Fertile Ground Virtual Conference.  It wasn’t until this spinning class that I saw so clearly how quickly we can release our limiting beliefs once we recognize what they are and push ourselves to taking action to boldly step away from them and in the direction of growth.

So what’s holding you back?

What beliefs have been so deeply part of how you view yourself that it’s hard to imagine they’re simply not true?

And what can do to stretch yourself so immensely out of your comfort zone that you give yourself no choice but to release these old beliefs and make space for your Truth?

This is safe and sacred space, so please share here on over on the Facebook page.

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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Creating Sacred Space

My home is sacred space. Taking care of my home is an extension of taking care of myself. When my home feels out of balanced, cluttered, and visibly like it’s not receiving the care it deserves, I know that is a reflection of myself. This is tricky for someone who has wanted to tackle clutter for a long time. I am getting there – in my home, on my computer (oh the files!) and in my mind and heart. I am so incredibly aware of how they intertwine.

There are times when I move furniture around, and warn my husband so he doesn’t hurt himself or go into shock when he gets home. The last move was just a couple of tables, but the time before that was moving some big pieces of furniture between rooms. It’s what I do. It’s part of how I shift the energy and create space for what I most need.

But I don’t always have the time or desire to go big when it comes to cleaning and moving things around in my home. Sometimes, even if I wish I could wave a magic wand and have our home look like the sacred space that I know it is, I have to be content to start small.

There is magic is starting small.

There is magic in picking one small space and knowing that you have made it what you want it to be.

There is magic in creating a part of your home that is free of clutter and that fully reflects what you want.

There is magic in creating little altars throughout your home, spaces that bring forth love, peace, and calm even amidst a larger mess.

Last night I chose one small space.

clearing clutter

It never ceases to amaze me how filled with junk our medicine cabinets get even when I think I’m staying on top of them.

Today, I chose another small space. Granted, all it took to create this space was removing one misplaced item from the shelf, but look at the magic!!

sacred space altar

When you create a calm and sacred environment for you to live in, you begin to feel the calm and sacred within, and that is a beautiful act of self-care.

What is one space in your home that you can make sacred today? Share with us in the comments below.

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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Taking Care of Your Future Self

self care for healthy pregnancy
I make my bed in the morning so it is there to welcome me into restful sleep at night.

I make a week’s worth of granola so nourishment comes with ease.

I get the sleep I need so I feel ready to take on the next day.

I choose my clothes and set them out so the morning has a sense of ease.

I wash the dishes so my kitchen is a clean canvas ready for my next creation.

I email myself tomorrow’s to-do list so I can dive right in.

I vision to prepare myself for what’s coming next.

These are some of the ways I take care of my future self.

This concept, first solidly introduced to me by Hannah Marcotti, seems simple, seems obvious, but it can take practice.

I wake up late and when I am ready for sleep, my sheets are a tangled mess, and one more thing keeps me from rest.

The morning moves quickly and I wish I had a simple breakfast at my fingertips.

I am groggy and wishing I could close my eyes before trudging through the day.

I struggle to find what feels right on my body, for this moment, for my now.

I am too tired to clean the kitchen, so dinner becomes a rice cake with almond butter.

I don’t know where to start, and I feel overwhelmed that all that is yet to do.

I find myself lost in my way, in what dreams I am guiding myself towards.

That is what it can look like, can feel like, when I don’t take care of my future self.

Messy. Groggy. Struggling. Overwhelmed. Unguided. Hurried.

The magic of a few moments can completely shift your day, your life.

That’s right, all it takes is a few moments:

Make the bed – 2 minutes

Make granola for the week – 10 minutes, plus inactive time waiting for the baking

A slightly earlier bedtime – that takes no time, just shifting priorities

Choosing tomorrow’s clothes – 5 minutes

Doing the dishes – 15 minutes to fully unload and reload, yes really, I’ve timed it.

Emailing my to-do list – 10 minutes max

Visioning – okay ,that can be more than moments, can be hours, can steal sleep, but it’s this.

How can you take care of your future self today? How will she thank you tomorrow?

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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Do You Have a Joy List?

I am deeply grateful for my mentor Hannah Marcotti and how she has awoken the spirit of Joy within me over the last couple of years. Joy is a funny feeling – it is one that we can take a deep journey to, learning more about as we shift through the ebb and flow of life. It is there when we are celebrating, and it is there to hold us when we are experiencing heartache. It supports us with a gentle whisper, reminding us of our compass.

Being able to tap into your Joy on a regular basis helps you to fuel your dreams and desires and to remain true to yourself in good times and bad. This can sometimes be a struggle, and this is where a Joy List comes into play.

You may have realized that most things flow with more ease when you have a plan (even if you’re not a planning type). Writing papers, planning a wedding, healthy eating, and preparing for a baby are some of the times when I’ve been most grateful to have a plan.

Planning for the difficult times often feels like something that we would rather avoid, but when we have a touchstone in place that we can turn to, we can find support in any situation. One touchstone is a Joy List.

A Joy List can be as simple or elaborate as you want it to be. It is your plan that you go to when you most strongly feel the need for an infusion of Joy in your life. It can include solitary and social ideas so you can include whomever you want.

Here’s what my Joy List looks like right now:

Dance Yoga Fusion Party to some uplifting tunes
Cutting words, images, phrases out of magazines
Creating vision boards
Hot bath with bath salts
Intimacy and Connection
Soulful conversation
Reading passages from favorite books
Tickle fights
Solitary train rides
Sipping tea

vision board

Your Joy List can evolve with you, can be filled with ideas that are easy to implement in your day-to-day and with ones that take more planning and time. The point is that you create the space to welcome Joy into your life.

Having this in your back pocket can make the empowering and happy times even brighter and can bring a sense of ease to the difficult times. A Joy List can be wonderful as you cultivate and grow your dreams – whether they are dreams of babies, of new adventures, or of new versions of yourself. They can help to center and guide you through the twists and turns that are sure to arise on your journey, and they can be the warm and cozy comfort that is sometimes exactly what you need.

What’s on your Joy List? Please share in the comments below!

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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New Beginnings Aren’t Always What You Think…


I roll out my mat, set the stones beside it, put on some music and begin, again.

Each time I complete 5 sun salutations, I move one of the stones with my toe. How else could I keep count?

It is New Year’s Day, and I am aiming for 54 sun salutations. 108 calls to my heart, but I know to ease back into this practice.

As I relax into savasana once all the stones are moved, I feel the bliss that I missed. I feel it in my body, in my soul, and I am reminded of the power of new beginnings.

New beginnings do not need to mean new practices. Tweet This

They can be a return to what we wish we had never left. They can be an old experience with new eyes. They can be what we did yesterday but now as the person that we are today.

As I’ve lived the first week of 2014, here are some of my new beginnings:

A home yoga practice – I am trying
A return to morning pages
Reading reading reading
Breathing life back into my writing
Witch Camp
Stepping into relationships & conversations with fresh perspective and an open mind
Living each day so I feel fulfilled each night

What new beginnings are surfacing for you?

Share with us in the comments below.

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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How I’m Setting the Foundation for 2014 with My Guiding Word

Digging Into 2014 Banner: 200x 200

I recently had the opportunity to preview Digging Into 2014: Discovering Your Guiding Word, the most recent creation of my friend Tara Wagner. I sat myself on my balcony with a cup of tea, a pen, and the printed out pages of this guide and I dug in.

Let me say this – I have tried to come up with guiding words in the past (I think my word for 2013 was Simplicity but it speaks volumes that I don’t even remember). I was determined to make this coming year different, and as I was working through Digging into 2014, I found my word. More accurately, it found me.

I soaked in the process, uncovered what I learned from 2013, and as I wrote through the exercises, my word found me. Written here, then there, then bigger, then with building excitement and I knew it had found me….THRIVE

It felt so right, and when I looked up the dictionary definition, I knew it fit me perfectly.

thrive: to prosper or flourish; to be successful esp. as the result of economic management; to grow vigorously or luxuriantly; improve physically

I continued on with Digging into 2014, learning more as I was aware of the prompts that got me feeling stuck (that’s always a tell-tale sign of where more work, more support, more energy is needed).

I am so grateful to Tara for putting this together and for giving me a new way to approach discovering my guiding word for the coming year.

I encourage you to explore this work yourself, and once you do, please come back and share your guiding word in the comments!

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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Is this what’s blocking your fertility and creative power?

Find your bliss snowHappiness and bliss come in many forms. For me, one of them is snow. I got giddy when I saw the first few snowflakes fall on Sunday and I had no idea that it was going to turn into 4-6 inches. Talk about blissful! Another thing that brings me happiness is sharing information with you that can shift your life and boost your fertility. I’m sharing some of that in today’s newsletter. If it triggers you, I encourage you to keep reading, and if you’re really brave, to schedule some time to talk to me about it!

Recently, I read an article by Chris Brogan where he talked about the difference between spending and investing. Here’s part of what he had to say:

“You spend on what gets spent. You invest on what develops into even more value.”

This is a distinction that many people often miss, especially when it comes to our health and well being. Spending can actually come more easily, because it has become so ingrained in our nature. Even when we feel like we need to keep a close eye on where our money is going, we spend on things like coffee and candy bars, things that are actually often detrimental to our future well being.

So why does investment feel harder to do? Investing in yourself is a deep act of self care and a stretch because it can be scary – it means change, it means growth, it means letting go of what isn’t working and shifting to ideas that do work. (tweet this)

Now all of that sounds good, but many people feel more comfortable living within their comfort zones. When it’s what you know, it can feel safe, even if it’s causing you pain and suffering.

So what does all of this talk about spending and investing have to do with fertility?

Your second chakra (located about an inch below your belly button) is associated with fertility, the uterus, the ovaries and with finances and person power! It’s also associated with the color orange.

When you have blocks around money, you are often also blocking your personal power and fertility. To me, this makes a lot of sense because when we feel like we can’t invest in ourselves (even if we know that’s what it takes to pull us out of a rut), we keep feeling stuck. When we experience that stuck and stagnant energy, it’s no surprise that our creative and reproductive energy is dampened. We’re not in the flow of creation.

2nd chakra yogaSo how can you strengthen your second chakra, learn to feel comfortable investing in yourself, and boost your fertility all at the same time?

Practice Malasana – This was my favorite yoga pose when I was pregnant because I felt like it gave me such a sense of power. Squats are known to strengthen the second chakra so it’s a perfect act of self-care to spend some time here.

Drink water – Water is associated with the second chakra, representing flow and movement. Make sure that you are drinking plenty of water (add a little lemon or opt for coconut water if it’s not your favorite thing to drink on it’s own).

Create a vision board of personal power – Tap into your creativity by making a visual representation of your personal power. This can get your creative juices flowing and help you to focus on what feels powerful and blissful to you.

Invest in yourself – Stretch yourself out of your comfort zone and reach out for support, knowing that this is not spending but investing, in yourself and the future of your family. Bringing together finances, fertility, and personal power in one action can melt barriers that once felt like impenetrable walls.

If you’re wondering what investing in yourself can look like, here’s what a client had to say about our time together:

“Initially I couldn’t even talk about wanting to have a baby; by the time we were nearing the end of our work, I was actively trying to get pregnant. That’s a huge leap for me.”

I hope this helps you to see in a new light something that you can be doing to increase your fertility, whether you are still dreaming of baby or actively trying.

And if you’re ready to step out of that comfort zone and have a hand to hold and support you as you do, know that I’m here for you. If you’re curious about what that looks like, I encourage you to sign up for one of the remaining Creating Fertile Ground Strategy Sessions this year.

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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Gratitude is in the Cards

The other night, I was sitting at my desk, magazines and clippings surrounding me.

I had struggled through the day but managed to find my way to gratitude throughout, in the small moments.

Wondering where to go next, I shuffled the cards that sooth me. I shuffled. I shuffled. The pack split open and three cards floated free. The fourth, from the bottom, came to greet them.


Beyond Illusion.

Moment to Moment.

We are the World.

Yes, my soul whispered, this is what it’s all about, and I knew that these cards were speaking about the group gathering for Growing with Gratitude.

growing with gratitude

Participation – Hands outstretched in a circle. Here is my soul, opening to yours in this safe space, awakening to the energy of a powerful community.

Beyond Illusion – Mind expanding into butterfly wings, ready to take off and soar as a new version of you emerges from all that you hold within.

Moment to Moment – The only way we ever truly live our lives, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other. Each step is taken with deep trust.

We are the World – We dance, rejoice, and hold hands as we come together from everywhere, in one place – this place of gratitude. Creating the light that we wish to see in the world, and spreading it in every way we know how.

The messages of the cards to you:

Participation “You have an opportunity to participate with others now to make your contribution to creating something greater and more beautiful than each of you could manage alone. Your participation will not only nourish you, but will also contribute something precious to the whole.”

Beyond Illusion “Drop your opinionated mind and move inside. There, you can relax into your own deepest truth, where the difference between dream and reality is already known.”

Moment to Moment “Be available to what comes your way, as it comes. And don’t worry if you stumble or fall; just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, have a good laugh, and carry on.”

We are the World “When we recognize the common source of our humanity, the common origins of our dreams and longings, our hopes and fears, we are able to see that we are all joined together in the great miracle of existence.”

We are approaching the eve of Growing with Gratitude, and our 30 day journey begins tomorrow. Will you join us? Your first step is to click here.

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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*Images and quotes come from the Osho Zen Tarot Cards


Gratitude as Growth (this is what it’s all about!)

gratitude for the future

We don’t grow by looking back, we grow by looking to our future.

When you get clear, crystal clear, on what it is that you want in your life, when you dream it so much you begin to believe it, when you express gratitude for these dreams – that’s when the magic begins to happen.

Most of the time, we stay stuck in the past. We focus on what hasn’t worked, we focus on regrets, we focus on all the little things that add up in our mind to a life filled with negativity. That’s no way to live!

Gratitude can pull you out of the past and into the future, leaving you free to dream the biggest dreams you can and truly believe that they can become your reality.

Gratitude can pull the dreams out of the depths of your soul and into the light.

Gratitude can help you create the vision of the life you want to be living.

Gratitude can help you start to live that life right now.

When you are grateful for your dream, your vision, everything you do in life becomes colored by the feelings that live behind that dream.

When you live the feeling of your dreams, everything else begins to fall into place.

Are you ready?

We start in a week and the community is growing every day. So what are you waiting for? Click here and join us now.

Peace, Love, and Wellness,

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