My sleep was full of anxiety about all that I needed to learn for an upcoming test. Through the haze of sleep, I was trying to remember these words, these ideas, and I was getting frustrated when I couldn’t.
I woke up feeling unrested.
Later, in yoga class, I found that my right leg would not go up in Sirsasana (headstand). My legs always go up together and I found it so bizarre. It was as if my right leg was suddenly weighted down and try as I might, it would not lift.
After class, as I was playing around with headstand a bit more, I shared this experience with some friends as it was happening again.
“Well I know what feet and legs represent,” said my friend Elisa. “They represent the journey. You’re moving forward.”
“And my right leg is saying ‘nope! stay right here!’” I laughed back at her.
Sometimes in sharing where we are feeling stuck, where we are feeling fear, the stuckness and fear dissipates. When we can understand and then laugh in the face of fear, we give ourselves power over those feelings.
That night was another one riddled with stress over this upcoming test. I woke up, and after my morning rituals of morning pages and warm lemon water, I sat down and simplified my studying. I saw that slowly and surely I am beginning to learn what I need (and want) to learn. I saw that there was no need for fear, no need for the anxiety to keep me from a solid night of sleep.
And perhaps the next time I’m coming into Sirsasana, my legs will both go right up, ready for the next part of my journey.